


What If?

by rosieeexox



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst and Humor, F/M, M/M, also grimmy and ian is brief af I just needed to give grimmy a husband ok, also theres um, based on the broadway musical if / then but I changed a lot of stuff so, harry and nick is brief but it happens, i think thats it idk i keep adding to these tags bye, major character death so yeah, there's two different plots, theres not really any smut (sorry), ummm what else lets see, ziam happens eventually i promise
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-04
Updated: 2015-01-21
Packaged: 2018-03-05 09:34:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3115154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosieeexox/pseuds/rosieeexox
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based on the broadway musical If / Then. </p><p>Harry lives in NYC, his old friends knows him as Harry, while his new friends know him as Haz. It starts in a park where two different decisions lead him down two different paths.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Split

_Here's how it starts_   
_And here's how it ends_   
_Two different hearts_   
_Maybe lovers or friends_   
_No one knows the ways_   
_The long road bends_

_Once every day your life starts again_

* * *

 

It starts off like any other day. As Harry makes his way through Madison Square Park, he's not really focused on anything other than finding his friends. He finds Zayn sitting alone at a table and takes a seat across from him.

"Where have you been?" Zayn asks, not looking up from his laptop. "Some crazy guy came and sat down while I was waiting for you, talked my ear off about his shoes."

"Sorry." Harry chuckles, sliding his phone out of his pocket.

"So," Zayn says after a beat. "Are you still coming with me to my demonstration in an hour?"

Zayn is one of those people who saw a documentary about big companies sucking up everyone's taxes by developing new buildings around the city when he was in his impressionable teenage years and never let go of his dream of "squashing every capitalistic fuck who tries to take another dime from me because they want to remodel every god damn building in this city." Being friends with him basically means that Harry gets dragged to every protest - sorry - _demonstration_ he has and risks getting arrested just because his best friend thinks New York City is perfect the way it is.

"Yeah, absolutely. I'll be there." Harry agrees, shaking his head. 

Just then, he hears a familiar laugh from across the park and looks up to wave his friend over. He hears Zayn groan.

"Oh no. Don't look, there's the nut who sat down here before. Harry, don't look!" 

But before Harry can turn to see who Zayn's talking about, Niall is pulling up a chair.

"You know this one?" Niall asks, tilting his head towards Zayn.

"Wait," Zayn looks up, confused. "You know him?"

Harry looks at both of them, brows furrowed together. His phone buzzes, alerting him that he's got a message.

**pls tell me u dont know the crazy guy i was tellin u about!!!**

Harry laughs as everything falls into place.

"Zayn, this is my friend Niall. He owns a pub on 7th. Niall, this is my friend Zayn. We went to high school together."

The sour look doesn't leave Zayn's face but he shakes Niall's hand nonetheless, who's wearing an oblivious smile.

"Does this mean Zayn is staying with us for the free concert in an hour, Haz?"

"Haz?" Zayn mutters, looking at Harry quizzically. Harry shrugs in response. "Sorry, Neil, didn't _Harry_ tell you? He's going to my demonstration downtown. Actually, we should probably get going. Right, Harry?"

"Haz?"

_What if I went there with Zayn, or what if I stayed here with Niall?_

 


	2. It's a Sign, Haz!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, this is where it might get confusing, but the chapters are going to switch back and forth between the path "Haz" chose and the path "Harry" chose.
> 
> This chapter is what happens after Haz decides to stay for the concert with Niall.

_Tell me how can this make any difference?_   
_How could it matter at all?_   
_How do I make such a major event_   
_out of something so small?_   
  
_Once every day your life starts again._

* * *

 

"Actually, Zayn, I think I'm gonna stay here with Niall. You go ahead. I'm not much for riding the subway, anyway."

Zayn sighs, but packs up his stuff nonetheless. 

"Is he always that stoic?" Niall asks once Zayn is out of earshot. "I tried to have a conversation with him earlier, before I knew he was your friend, and he just sort of sat there."

"Zayn is…" Haz hesitates for a moment, trying to find the right words. "He keeps to himself a lot, not really big on expanding his social group. He's really into his work and all that."

Niall shrugs, seemingly satisfied with that answer.

They make their way through the already thickening crowd and find a spot to the right of the makeshift stage near the sidewalk. Haz is just about to ask Niall who's playing when his cell phone rings.

He looks down at his phone and studies the number on the screen. "Hey Niall, where's the area code 347?"

"That's mine, it's Manhattan, why?"

"Dunno, someone's calling me."

"Don't answer it, the shows about to start. It's probably a wrong number anyway."

Haz shrugs and pockets his phone when he feels someone tap his shoulder.

"Excuse me?"

Haz turns around and is met with an unfamiliar face. 

"Hi, sorry. I couldn't help myself but, uh, my name is Louis and I was wondering if - I mean, I saw you standing over here and I just had to, um." The boy seems to be having trouble getting his words out, so Haz takes the time to really study him. His eye's are blue, but not like Niall blue. They're like ocean blue, or like the sky or some other poetic shit that makes him feel things that Niall's eyes certainly do not. And his skin, oh god, it's tanned and smooth and it takes Haz longer than it should to notice he's wearing an Army uniform. But he notices at the same time Niall is jamming his elbow into his side, probably to notify him that the other boy - Louis? - is done stammering his words out.

"Sorry," HaZ blushes. "What?"

He ignores Niall's snigger and tries to focus on the words coming out of Louis's mouth instead of just his lips. "Would you like to grab coffee with me?"

"Right now? The show's about to start." 

"Some other time, then?" Louis asks, hopeful.

"Oh, um, I'm not sure if I should." Haz replies, his mind cutting to the freshly signed divorce papers sitting on his bedside table.

"Right then, sorry." Louis mumbles, hanging his head slightly. He turns to leave without another word and doesn't even turn to acknowledge the "Thank you for your service!" Haz dumbly calls out after him.

"What was that all about?"

"I'm a 22 year old divorcee, Niall. I'm hardly ready to jump into anything."

"Could've at least gotten his number. He was cute!" Niall says, waggling his eyebrows suggestively.

"Says the straight boy."

Niall punches him lightly on the arm as the opening band comes out to play.

* * *

 

The concert ends as Haz and Niall make their way into the subway station. They decided to go to Zayn's demonstration so he'd be less pissed off later. Niall also has a very strong desire to make sure everyone likes him, and since Zayn probably doesn't...

"You know I hate the subway, Niall." Haz says, clutching the railing above him for dear life.

Just as Niall opens his mouth to respond, the door between the two subway cars opens, letting in the roar of the car on the tracks and in stumbles Louis. Haz can practically hear Niall's brain explode in realization.

"Haz," He whispers. "Isn't that-"

He shushes him quickly with a hand over his mouth, but it's too late. Louis is already standing a few feet away, his eyes on Haz, looking at him like he can't believe his luck and like he has no idea what to do next. Luckily for him, Niall takes care of that right away.

"Louis, right?" Niall yells, much louder than necessary, Haz is sure. "Thought it was you, come have a seat over here!"

"What are you doing?" Haz whispers, mortified.

"It's a sign, Haz." He whispers back, causing Haz to sigh loudly.

"It's fine. I can sit somewhere else." Louis mumbles, searching the car for any other open seats.

There are none. Haz hates his life.

The three of them sit in silence of a little bit, with Niall secretly nudging Haz every few minutes, urging him to talk. Haz ignored him easily, scrolling through his contact list on his phone, trying to seem busy. Just then, Niall get's up and addresses the packed subway car.

"Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention please?" Nialls yells. "I am conducting a public survey."

"Niall, what are you _doing_?"

He pays Haz no mind as he continues. "Earlier today, this man met this lovely server of our country in Madison Square Park. But now, they meet again on this subway! Is it chance? Or is the universe trying to send them a message?" Now, he turns his head to his friend, who looks like he's about to murder him. "Haz, is it true you hate the subway?"

"Yes, but-"

"Ah, yet here you are! Facing your fears, just as the universe planned! And Louis, what brings you to this "tunnel of death" as Haz here so often calls it?"

"I'm, uh, headed to the airport. Going home and all that." Louis answers slowly, clearly embarrassed and confused. He looks to Haz for answers, who shrugs and buries his face in his hands.

"Now, ladies and gentleman, here's where you come in. I'm going to take a vote. All those who believe these two meeting for the second time today is an act of fate, like the stars have aligned, or when your buttered roll lands butter side up, or like-"

"Just get on with it!" Someone yells from the far end of the subway car.

"Right!" Niall yells, not any less excited, "All of those who think that Haz should at the _least_ get Louis number here, please raise your hand."

To Haz's surprise, and mortification, pretty much everyone on the subway car raises their hand, save for the various people who managed to sleep through Niall's dramatic announcement.

"Thank you all for your participation, and enjoy the rest of your trip" Niall shouts, taking his seat again. "That settles it," He says, turning to Haz. "Exchange numbers and go to dinner."

"He's going home, Niall, remember?" Haz says in a final attempt to escape his situation.

"Only for a week or two." Louis interjects. "To see my mom and sisters. Then I'm back here to look for an apartment."

"You could do that together!" Niall says, laughing.

"Niall, shut _up_!" Haz sighs. "Louis, gimme your phone."

Niall fist pumps the air while the two exchange numbers, the blush on Haz's face still as prominent as ever.

When they finally get to Zayn's demonstration, Haz is only half aware of what's going on. Still in shock from the embarrassment he faced on the train, he makes a mental note to never take Niall anywhere in public with him ever again. Ever. 

* * *

 

This mental note is soon forgotten when Haz finds himself in Madison Square Park again with Niall and Zayn about two weeks later. Zayn is talking animatedly about his new plans for a demonstration that he's sure will grab "That prick CEO Ian Chaloner's attention." Niall listens intently and Haz is lost in his Twitter feed. He's brought out of his reverie when Niall kicks him hard underneath the table.

"Niall! What the fu-" Haz stops, air catching in his lungs when he sees Louis approaching their table. "Oh god."

"Hiya Haz!" Louis says excitedly. Zayn contorts his face in clear disgust at the nickname.

"Hey Lou." Haz answers quickly. _Lou? Where did that nickname come from? What the fuck, get it together._

"This, uh, this is quite a coincidence, isn't it?" Louis says, a warm smile on his face. 

"Uh, yeah." Haz laughs nervously. "How are you?" _How are you? Seriously? God, you're an idiot._

"Good, yeah." The four of them sit in awkward silence for a few beats before Niall, of course, intervenes. 

"Of for fuck's sake! Have you guys not gone out for coffee yet? Jesus, Haz!"

"Coffee?" Zayn asks, confused.

"I'll explain it to you later." Niall tells him, waving his hand dismissively, which he then uses to gesture to the two of them. "So…"

"Right," Louis laughs nervously. "Well, would you like to grab coffee sometime? Or dinner?"

"Dinner sounds great." Haz says before he can stop himself.

"Great! I'll, uh, text you later!" He offers, smiling so hard his face looks like it's going to split in half.

"Alright, see you later." Haz smiles.

As soon as Louis is out of earshot Haz turns to Niall, who's mouth was already open, ready to comment. "Don't you dare." Haz warns him. 

Niall resorts to a laughing fit while Haz tries to hide his blushing face by burying it in his phone.

"What the fuck just happened?" Zayn asks a few minutes later, sending Niall into a fit all over again.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments/questions/kudos? :)


	3. You and Me, Harry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter is the beginning of Harry's path. It's a continuation from the first chapter, not the second one, in case you're still confused! Also Grimmy gets introduced in this chapter so that's fun! (I promise Liam is coming soon!)

_Tell me how could this make any difference_   
_How could it matter at all?_   
_How do I make such a major event_   
_out of something so small?_   
  
_Once every day your life starts again._

* * *

 

"You know what, Niall, you go ahead. I promised Zayn I'd go with him to his demonstration." Harry says, pulling his best puppy dog face.

"Alright with the eyes!" Niall laughs. "I'll see you later, go have fun at your protest thing." He gives a short wave and then he's off, fighting through the crowd that's already forming by the stage on the far end of the park.

"It's a _demonstration_." Zayn mutters under his breath.

The subway ride is quick, but not quick enough. There's no cell service underground so Harry is stuck thumbing through old emails to distract himself from Zayn's teasing and the fact that he's in a metal death trap beneath the city.

"Thousands of people ride the subway everyday without incident, Harry. Don't you think you're being a little dramatic?"

"Trains can derail at any time, Zayn!" Harry whispers defensively.

"You have a better chance of getting in a plane crash." Zayn informs him, rolling his eyes. "But you're in luck, our stop is up."

Harry sighs in relief as the two exit the subway and make their way up the stairs and back onto the street. Just as Harry is about to ask where they're going, his phone rings.

"Zayn, where's the area code 347?" He asks, studying the number on the screen.

"That's Manhattan, why?" Zayn asks, looking over at Harry's cell phone. "You should answer it."

Harry nods and takes the call. "Hello?"

* * *

 

Zayn's demonstration goes fabulously. Harry was surprised at the turnout and honestly, he thinks Zayn was, too. The Brooklyn to Broadway Company, or BBC,  is trying to redraw the grid of the city in hopes of making travel easier and the city nicer. This is, however, their third attempt at creating a new grid after the first two turned out to be more confusing and expensive than the system they have now. A point Zayn makes several times in order to convince his enthusiastic crowd that they may not have to protest at all. 

"For now, our tax dollars are safe." He announces confidently. "BBC will fail as it always has. But to be safe, I need you all to be prepared. Be prepared to do whatever it takes to protect the lower class people who won't be able to pay higher taxes, or the who might lose their homes to make room for another subway station. Our city is perfect the way it is, and if BBC can't see that, then we'll just have to make them."

The crowd cheers and applauds as Zayn steps down from the podium to shake the hands of his supporters.

"You're such a great speaker," Harry assures him after most of the people have gone. "Seriously, it's no wonder you're a writer."

"I'm not a writer, Harry. I'm not published."

"How many books have you finished?" Harry asks, only slightly annoyed.

"Three." Zayn answers solemnly.

"And did you write all of them?"

"Yes." Zayn says, confused.

"Then you're a writer." Harry says matter-of-factly, patting Zayn on the head before skipping away towards the sidewalk.

"And you're an idiot!" Zayn calls after him, jogging to catch up and ruffling Harry's curls when he does. "But seriously, you still haven't told me who was on the phone before. Was it-"

"No." Harry answers quickly. "It was just some guy asking if I'd be interested in some architect job."

"Harry! That's great!" Zayn smiles, pulling Harry into a hug. "You've been back in New York for a few days and already you've got a better job than me!"

"I haven't got it yet." Harry tells him, rolling his eyes. "Gonna go in tomorrow and see how I like it."

"Well, I'm proud of you. So proud, in fact, I'm going to pay for a cab to take us home so you don't have to brave the big bad subway again."

Harry nudges him lightly before bringing him into a crushing hug. "Oh, Zayn! I love you! You're the best thing that's ever happened to me." He sighs dramatically.

"Yeah, yeah. Get off me."

* * *

 

Harry wakes up the next morning with the suffocating realization that he has a very important interview in an hour. After stressing over what to wear for fifteen minutes longer than any man should, he decides on black skinny jeans and a white button up with a black cardigan.

"Casual, but professional." He says to himself in the mirror. 

He walks the dozen or so blocks to the address emailed to him and almost laughs at the sign outside.

**Brooklyn to Broadway Company (BBC)**

He steps inside and is instantly met by a man in his mid-thirties.

"You must be Harry?" He asks, holding his hand out for a handshake. "I'm Nick Grimshaw, founder of BBC and this is my CEO and husband, Ian Chaloner."

Harry almost laughs for the second time that day at the thought of how Zayn would react if he knew where he was right now. Instead, he opts for a handshake from both of them and follows them into the elevator.

Nick takes him to a room with a replica of New York City on a giant table. Harry stares at it in awe.

"It gets better." Nick says softly, turning off the light.

For a moment, Harry is confused until he hears another switch flip and the bottom of the replica lights up. He recognizes the lines as the subway tracks in their respective colors.

"This is probably the coolest thing I've ever seen. Did you build this?" Harry asks, still staring at the table.

"Sure did." Nick says proudly. "Figured it's a lot more pleasing to look at than a punch of drawings on paper."

"Definitely." Harry agrees.

After a few moments, Nick turns the light back on and leads Harry over to a table on the other side of the room.

"So, Harry. The job we'd like to offer you is the deputy position on the project to re-grid the city."

Harry's jaw drops. "What? Why me? I don't have any experience in leading a project."

Nick laughs. "Well, we spoke to Barbara way out in London. The position was supposed to be hers, but when we called to confirm her position, she said she was sending someone else. What on earth were you doing in England, anyway?"

Harry noticeably tenses. "I, uh, my husband, John, and I. We moved there about two years ago. He got a job at one of the tv companies there."

"What made you move back here?" Nick asks hesitantly, like he already knows the answer.

"The divorce, mostly. And also I was wildly unhappy there, couldn't find any architect jobs. That's how I found Barbara, she put an ad in the paper that she was looking for an assistant planner." Nick nods along, urging Harry to continue but not wanting to pry. "She, uh, she pretty much did all the work, I just looked over everything."

"Well she spoke very highly of you and assured us you were a better fit for the job."

Harry laughs at that. "She's very modest."

"So are you." Nick says softly, placing his hand over Harry's on the table. 

"I don't know, Nick. It's a lot of responsibility." Harry says nervously, pulling his hand away to wring them in his lap.

"Think of all the public parks and plazas we could reestablish. We can draw a brand new grid and, plan new city sites, create jobs. You won't be doing it alone, Harry. You'll have assistants and other architects and me to help you." Nick assures him, taking Harry's silence as a cue to continue. "Think of all the memories other people would be able to create with our help. The joy of this job will be everywhere you look, think of how everything will ebb and flow. The map of how New York City is supposed to be is written in our hearts, Harry. So let's make a map of New York, you and me. What do you say?"

Harry mulls it over for a moment. 

"Alright, I'll take it." He says confidently, shaking Nick's outstretched hand.

_Now I just have to break the news to Zayn._

* * *

 

"Alright spill." Zayn demands the second he steps into Harry's apartment. "Is it John? Did he call you?"

Harry feels his chest tighten. "No, no. It's not John. I have a proposition for you."

Zayn takes a seat at Harry's kitchen table and laughs. "Look, Harry. I love you and all, but I don't think us sleeping together would be what's best for our friendship." Harry responds by hitting him in the back of the head.

"Be serious for a second! I have news!" Harry takes a deep breath before continuing. "I got the job, but-"

"Oh, Harry! That's great!"

Harry laughs nervously. "Let me finish, alright?" Zayn nods. "The job is to oversee the re-gridding of the city."

Zayn opens his mouth to comment but Harry cuts him off quickly. "Before you say anything, let me finish, okay? This could be a good thing! You're worried about it costing too much, right? And them making a right mess of it, but they won't! Cause I'll be in charge and I'll make sure that everything that happens is in the best interest of everyone in the city. It's a really good opportunity, Zayn. For both of us."

"Are you done?" Harry nods. "Good, because I was going to congratulate you before you started rambling about saving the city." He says with a laugh.

"But, I'm working for BBC! The enemy! I'm a traitor!" Harry yells dramatically.

"Don't be an idiot. I trust that you won't fuck everyone over."

"Well, that's good. I guess that I don't have to use your surprise as a bargaining tool to get you to be my friend again, then."

"What surprise?" Zayn asks hesitantly.

"Oh, nothing. Just that I spoke to some people and they kinda sorta maybe wanna publish one of your books."

"Which one?" He asks breathlessly.

"Whichever one you want. I promised them it'd be the best decision they'll ever make and they agreed."

"Without reading any of my drafts?"

Harry nods excitedly. "One of the many perk of my new job."

Zayn's smile drops suddenly, then returns more mischievously. 

"Oh god," Harry asks nervously. "What?"

"I'm gonna have them publish my demonstration novel."

"You're a menace, Zayn Malik, truly." Harry laughs, shaking his head.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> questions/comments/kudos? :)


	4. You Never Know, Haz.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (pmuch a continuation of chapter 2)  
> haz and louis go on a date, zayn meets liam, haz gets a job

_You may think you know the end and the beginning_   
_But the truth is there’s no mortal way to tell_   
_And the game’s not over till the final inning_   
_And I’m grinning cuz this game might just end well_

_You never know_

* * *

 

Haz checks himself over in the mirror for about the billionth time before finally leaving his apartment. The entire cab ride is spent fidgeting with the hem of his baby blue scoop neck and wiping the sweat off of his hands and onto his dark blue skinny jeans.

 _Why am I so nervous? I don't even_ like _this guy._  He thinks to himself. And if he didn't know any better he'd think the taxi driver could read his thoughts because he decided to cough at that exact moment. _Okay, okay. Maybe I like him a little bit._

He gets dropped off on 45th St, just before Times Square. It also happens to be three blocks away form the restaurant - the Hard Rock Cafe, naturally. Because Louis is the type of person who enjoys being a cliche, apparently. - and Haz needs some time to mentally prepare himself for whatever Louis is wearing. He's going to have a hard time controlling himself regardless, probably, but a few extra minutes of preparation couldn't hurt. 

He makes to to the restaurant at 8:15, because showing up at 8 o'clock on the dot is a sign of desperation according to Zayn. He sees Louis browsing the gift shop with a gift bag hanging off his arm. Haz's stomach flips at the thought of Louis giving him a present and looks down at his empty hands with a solemn look. As soon as Louis notices him, though, he breaks out into a smile.

"Thought you might be ditching me."

"Sorry!" Haz laughs. "Had the taxi drop me off on 45th to avoid the Times Square madness"

"Shall we?" Louis asks, extending his arm in what Haz assumes to be his impersonation of a very posh escort position. Haz slides his arm through and lets Louis lead him down the stairs. 

Once Louis informs the waitress of their reservation, they're brought to their dimly lit table.

"What's in the bag?" Haz asks once they're seated.

Louis smirks. "After dinner." Is all he says, picking up the menu.

It isn't until he's meant to be looking at the menu that Haz realizes he hasn't been on an actual date in ages. Does he order a salad? Or will Louis think that's weird? Should he order a burger? But their burgers are huge, will Louis be grossed out by the way he eats? 

"You have to get the Local Legendary Burger." Louis comments, breaking him out of his first-date freakout. "It has onion rings."

"On the burger?"

"Yeah, it's delicious. Every restaurant has a different burger. The one in Baltimore has a crab cake on it."

"Alright," Haz says, glad he doesn't have to think about his order and can now focus on not making a complete ass of himself. "I'll get the burger if you get the fajitas."

"And why's that?" Louis asks, quirking his eyebrow up. 

Haz smiles innocently. "This way when I cook you mine you can tell me whose is better."

"You're cooking me dinner now?"

Haz just smiles and pretends to look over the beverage section. 

By the time the waitress comes by to take their drink order, Louis and Haz are in a very heated conversation about which One Tree Hill boy is the most husband-worthy. 

"I'll just have water, thanks." Louis says quickly, turning his attention back to Haz, who nods his head. "Me, too, please."

"Honestly, Haz, I can't believe you'd pick Julian over Nathan!" He half-yells.

"Why would I pick Nathan? I'm not into athletes, I'm into artists!" Haz defends quickly.

"We'll just have to agree to disagree, I guess. Although I'm starting to question your taste in men which, honestly, is bruising my ego a bit."

Haz sticks his tongue out in response as the waitress places their drinks on the table.

"Are you ready to order?" She asks, clearly hesitant on whether or not to interrupt their discussion.

They order their food and the waitress walks away, leaving the two in a slightly uncomfortable silence.

"So," Haz starts. "You said you're in the army, right?"

Louis nods. "Yeah, I'm the doctor on base. I just got back from my second tour that day I ran into you at the park…the first time." He adds as an afterthought.

"And what were you doing the second time?" Haz asks, smirking.

Louis giggles at that. He _giggles_. And at that moment, Haz is pretty sure the universe was created specifically so Louis could giggle.

"To be honest, after I saw you that first time, I may or may not have spent all my free time at Madison Square Park hoping to see you."

Haz blushes at that. "Shut up."

"I'm serious!" Louis continues. "And that time I saw you on the subway, I was on my way home like, for good. I was gonna live with my parents until I figured out what to do or I got called back for my third tour, but you gave me your number so I lied and said I was only going away for a few weeks." Now it's Louis' turn to blush.

"Your third tour? So, you have to go back?"

"Most likely they'll call me in eventually, yeah." Haz tries not to let his disappointment show. "But like, it would only be a few months, tops."

Haz nods and changes the subject. "So, back to you stalking me."

"Actually, I was wondering if your friend Zayn was single." Louis asks, taking a sip from his water.

"Oh, don't tell me. You've only asked me out to butter me up so I'd set you up with Zayn!" Louis giggles again, so Haz decides to throw his napkin on the table for dramatic effect. "You know, if I had a dollar for every man who's taken me out in the hopes of hooking up with Zayn I'd-"

"Will you shut up?" Louis says fondly, covering his face with his hands. "I have this friend who'd be perfect for him. They're both moody and artsy and Liam _hates_ BBC. They'd be perfect!"

"They do sound like a match made in heaven." Haz smiles, shaking his head. "Also, speaking of BBC, the founder of the company called me a while ago to offer me a job. I missed the call and the position got filled, but he recommended me for a teaching position at NYU for one of the architect classes."

"Haz, that's brilliant!" Louis beams, raising his water glass in a toast. They clink their glasses and take a sip, suppressing smiles. 

The conversation dies down once the food arrives, Louis making a big show about the fajitas being "Sooooo good, Haz! I don't think anyone could top them!" which results in him receiving several french fries to the face. 

They decide to skip dessert and Louis pays the bill, much to Haz's dismay.

"I asked _you_ out, Haz. Honestly, what kind of man would I be if I let you pay?"

"We could have at least split it!" Haz offers, holding the door open for Louis. They both shiver slightly at the cool night air.

"It's a bit cold for August, isn't it?" Louis asks, rubbing his hands together.

"A bit." Haz smiles, linking one of Louis' hands in his own. They walk around like that, holding hands in silence, soaking in the New York City night life. It isn't until Louis steers him into a building that Haz realizes they'd actually been walking somewhere all along.

"What's this?" Haz asks, looking up at the sign above the door reading Caffe Dante.

"The best ice cream coffee shop ever." Louis says confidently, opening the door and nodding for Haz to step inside. He's immediately met with the smell of freshly made waffles cones and expresso. "Why don't you check out the ice cream flavors and I'll order us drinks. How do you take your coffee?" 

"A bit of milk and two sugars, please." Haz tells him before heading over to the giant glass cases of ice cream.

"What've you decided on?" Louis asks, sliding his arm around Haz's waist and resting his head on his tricep. 

"The, uh, pistachio, I think. But I also wanna try the cookies'n'cream." He replies, hoping it's not painfully obvious how badly the sudden realization of their height difference is affecting him. 

"If you get the pistachio, I'll get the cookies'n'cream and we can share." Louis offers. Haz nods and Louis who nods at the man behind the counter and then drags Haz over to a table.

It takes him a moment to realize that the coffee cup he's drinking out of has his name on it as well as the Hard Rock logo, but when he does, he looks up at Louis who's smiling at him like he's about to burst.

"Lou, did you-"

"Took ya long enough to notice!" He hums, laughing into his hand. "I got us matching ones." Louis blushes, gesturing to his coffee cup. 

Haz smiles so wide it feels like his cheeks may never fully recover. "Thank you, it's really cute."

"This way, every time you drink coffee, you'll think of me and our first date." 

Haz hides his smile behind his cup just as a middle-aged man places two giant bowls of ice cream on their table. The pistachio ice cream is delicious and Haz is suddenly very unwilling to share. Louis, however, doesn't seem to care as he snatches the bowl and replaces it with his nearly empty one.

"Heey, no fair! Yours is almost gone!" Harry mock whines.

"It's not my fault you eat slower than you talk, Hazza." Haz's heart leaps at the nickname and the insult about his eating and speaking habits is forgotten. 

"Look," Louis says after a few beats of silence. "I know you've been hurt in the past and that's why you were reluctant to go out with me in the beginning, but I'm glad you finally agreed.  I know you think the odds are I'll do what most men do and hurt you, cause men are men and odds are odds, but you never know, Haz. I mean, I could be a drunkard or callous or only into you for your money-"

"Which would be a lost cause, just do you know." Haz interrupts, laughing, but quickly signals for Louis to continue.

"Well in that case." Louis laughs. "But seriously, I could be all those things, but I could also be the guy who's meant for you, you know? You just," Louis laughs again. "You never know."

Haz smiles and reaches across the table to take Louis's hands in his. "I'm glad I finally agreed, too." And if the two of them sit there makes heart eyes at each other while stealing each others ice cream, no one has to know.

"I'm gonna ask them to clean out our cups so they don't get all sticky." Haz mumbles after their empty ice cream bowls are cleared. He makes sure to secretly pay the bill as well and is relieved when Louis doesn't notice. It's not until Haz returns with their freshly cleaned mugs that Louis asks for the check. The older man behind the counter smirks. "He already paid." He informs Louis, who glares at Haz in the fondest way possible. Haz shrugs and gestures to the door.

They walk a little bit longer before Haz decides it's getting late. 

"I'll wait with you til your cab comes." Louis offers, taking a seat on a nearby bench and patting the spot next to him.

"Alright." Haz nods, taking the seat beside him.

This time, Louis rests his head on Haz's shoulder as they sit in silence. At some point, their hands intertwine and Haz is in such a happy daze he almost doesn't notice the taxi pull up. They both get up and Haz suddenly feels like he's gonna be sick. Is Louis gonna kiss him goodbye? Should he invite him back to his apartment? Should he offer to share the cab? How is Louis getting home? What if-

"I had a really great time tonight." Louis whispers, breaking Haz out of yet another one of his inner first date freakouts. 

"Me, too." Haz manages through his smile.

Before Haz can process what's happening, Louis is lifting up onto his tip toes and pressing their lips together. The taxi driver beeps and the two break apart, blushing. Haz places a kiss on Louis's forehead and gets into the cab, waving as it pulls away.

Haz is just stepping into his apartment when his phone buzzes.

**hope you didn't tip that bastard ;) let me kno when u want me to bring liam to meet zayn , we can double!!**

Haz smiles as he places the coffee cup on his counter and types out his reply.

**Didn't tip him a cent, don't worry :p Let's do it sometime this week! Thanks again for tonight. Goodnight, Lou. x**

He falls asleep that night, the feel of Louis's lips still on his.

* * *

 

"Zayn, seriously. If you don't come meet this boy I'm going to look like an asshole." Haz whines. 

"You're an asshole anyway for agreeing to set me up with him in the first place." 

"Louis said he's cute! And he hates BBC! And he likes art!" Haz lists enthusiastically.

"If Louis thinks he's cute he's probably a solid 5 because Louis also thinks _you're_ cute." Zayn says, causing Haz to pout. "Alright, fine. Let's just go." Zayn mumbles, throwing his hands up in defeat.

Haz cheers dramatically as the two make their way to Madison Square Park.

And that's how Haz and Louis find themselves watching their two friends interact from a few tables away, high-fiving or nudging each other each time one of them does something adorable. And if Zayn's facial expressions and choked out attempts at conversation are anything to go by, Louis may be right about Zayn finding Liam cute. He's pretty much everything Zayn wants in a boy, between his brown eyes and fluffy hair and his broad shoulders and muscular arms. Zayn is in heaven, probably. Louis practically pushed Haz off his chair when Liam handed Zayn his phone to type his number in. After a few hours, Liam excuses himself to work - "At the MoMA, Haz. The fucking _MoMA_. He's my soulmate." - and if Haz teases him mercilessly about how obviously smitten Zayn is, no one can say it's undeserved.

* * *

A month later, Haz finds himself outside NYU in dress pants and a button up at an ungodly hour, his phone buzzing with texts filled with words of encouragement.

There's a

 **ur gonna do great haz, show dem kids whose bo$$!** from Zayn.

A simple but sweet

 **have a brilliant first day of work!!!!!** from Liam.

Even Niall sent a nice little 

**good luck today!**

And, of course, there's the 

 **do a good job today and i'll reward you for it later ;)** from Louis.

After a few hours of lecturing and answering questions, Haz meets up with his friends at Zayn's apartment downtown. 

"Well if it isn't Professor Styles!" Zayn catcalls, throwing in a whistle for good measure.

"Fuck off." Haz says, smiling.

"How was your first day of work, babe?" Louis asks, pressing a kiss to Haz's cheek.

"It was good." He sighs, sitting on the couch. "Some of the students ask ridiculously stupid questions, but most of them seem like they know their shit."

The knock on the door has Haz sending a questioning look towards Zayn.

"Niall, that's probably your girlfriend, you should answer it."

"Oh, we're meeting the girlfriend, are we?" Haz teases, earning a rude hand gesture from Niall as he opens the door.

"Guys, this is my girlfriend, Barbara." Niall says, pleading with his eyes for them to be normal. "Barb, this is Zayn and his boyfriend, Liam. And the two sickeningly cute lads on the couch are Haz and his boyfriend, Louis." 

"Nice to meet you all." She says happily, and Haz likes her immediately. He notices quite quickly that she balances Niall's loud side very well, which is nice. 

And so, for the next few months, Haz finds himself the happiest he's been in a long, long time. He tells Zayn as such before he leaves and he responds by squeezing Haz's shoulder and whispering "Me, too."

And later, Louis most definitely makes good on his promise of rewarding Haz for a great first day of work by going down on him in the shower.

Twice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> questions/comments/kudos? :)


	5. What the Fuck, Harry?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (continues from chapter 3)  
> Harry and Nick get a little too close, zarry happens, Zayn pines, its all very angsty. The title of the chapter says it all, really. Enjoy!

_Just another bad decision I guess_  
 _Just another pile of crap in the mess_  
 _Now I’ve managed to involve my best friend_  
 _Will my trail of sad mistakes ever end?_

* * *

 

It's a few weeks into working his new job that Harry finds himself wondering how platonic Nick's constant touches are. Since he's started working there, it seems the moments Nick isn't touching him are almost nonexistent. For instance, they went out to dinner to celebrate Harry's week anniversary at BBC - which Ian didn't attend - where Nick spent the entirety with his hand on Harry's thigh or the small of his back. Even in the office when Nick comes to check on his progress there's almost always an arm around his neck, or a hand on his shoulder, or in his hair. Harry shakes his head to clear his thoughts as he enters the building.

"Harry!" Nick greets him as soon as he enters. "Bit late, aren't you?"

Harry furrows his brow, checking his watch. "Is my watch slow?" He asks, confused. Nick laughs.

"Just joking." He smiles, throwing his arm around Harry's neck, leading them towards the elevator.

"Were you waiting for me?" Harry asks once the elevator doors close, trying to distract himself from the fact that Nick's arm dropped from around his neck to around his waist.

"Yeah," Nick admits. "Figured I could follow you up to your office to see what still has to be done."

Harry nods, feeling bold, and pats Nick's hand on his waist before throwing his arm over Nick's shoulders. They separate when they exit the elevator and Harry pretends not to notice how his waist is still tingling where Nick squeezed right before he let go.

It's been 20 minutes since they entered his office and Harry hasn't been listening to whatever it is Nick's rambling on about. Instead, he's been watching his boss's lips form words and nodding every few minutes to give off the illusion he's paying attentions.

"Is that alright, Harry?" Nick asks for what sounds like the second time.

"What?" 

"I said, I'm gonna come drop off the blueprints for the new library later tonight, if that's alright?"

"Oh!" Harry answers, probably too loudly. "At my house? Yeah, sure, that's fine." He nods several times, anticipation bubbling in his stomach.

"Alright, I'll see you later, then." Nick says slowly, winking before he exits, leaving Harry equal parts anxious and excited.

He's sitting at home hours later, languid and relaxed from the wine, contemplating jerking off, when his doorbell rings. He makes his way to the door to find Nick standing there. For a second, his brain short-curcuits. The first thing he notices is how different Nick looks out of a suit. His legs look impossibly toned covered in skinny jeans, and his chest looks very inviting in a scoop neck t-shirt. 

"Are you going to invite me in?" Nick asks, amused.

"Right," Harry blushes. "Come on it, sorry." He gestures inside and Nick follows him into the living room. 

Nick spreads the blueprint onto the table and Harry tries to ignore how close they're standing, their shoulders almost touching. Nick's in the middle of explaining the blueprint to him when Harry shifts his hand on the table, causing it to come into contact with where Nick's is holding down the edge of the paper. Harry's breath hitches and he hasn't even noticed Nick's stopped talking until he turns his head to find Nick looking at him.

The air around them feels thick as Harry trails his eyes up form where their hands are touching to Nick's lips, not daring to look him in the eye. When he finally does, though, Nick's pupils are blown wide and Harry takes that as a sign to lean in and connect their lips together. The last thing he registers is Nick's tongue swiping across his bottom lip before it's gone. 

Harry opens his eyes to see Nick a few feet away, eyes trained on the ground. "I should probably get home to Ian." Is all he says before exiting the apartment.

Suddenly, Harry feels very hot, probably a fair mix between the alcohol, the embarrassment, and the arousal. 

 _What the fuck?_ He thinks, reaching for his phone and typing out a text. _Why can't I ever just feel what I feel? Why do I always have to_ do _something about it? Why did Nick look so surprised, like we haven't been flirting for weeks? He kissed me back! Clearly I've got a taste for men who treat me like shit. What the fuck, Harry? What did you do?_

* * *

Harry wakes up the next morning with a headache and a sinking feeling there's someone in bed next to him. He rolls over and is met with none other than Zayn's sleeping form. _What the fuck? How'd I end up lying naked in bed with Zayn?_

Last nights events come rushing back to him and he feels sick. _He kissed Nick, who kissed him back but then ran home to his husband. So he called Zayn over for a quick fuck who took no convincing whatsoever and was on his doorstep in minutes_. He had a tiny little inkling Zayn still had some unresolved feelings. I mean, they used to madeout a few times in high school, but _fuck_. 

Zayn wakes up a few moments later and looks at Harry like he's not sure what to say. Apparently, he decides "Goodmorning." Is a good start because that's the first thing he says.

"About last night, Harry, I-"

"We don't have to talk about it." Harry cuts him off.

"Well, I want to." Zayn says, sitting up. "I know I should probably give you some time to think it over, but like, last night was great, right?" Harry gives a noncommittal shrug in response. "I just, I know you have a lot going on, but we should give it a shot, you know?" Harry snorts at that.

"Did you think I called you over because I've been pining over you for years the way you've been pining over me?" Harry laughs harshly. "I was drunk and horny and Nick had just rejected me, so I-"

"You called me up to soften the blow of being rejected by _Nick_? What the _fuck_ , Harry?" Zayn shouts, pulling on his pants and gathering the rest of his clothes from the floor. "You've apparently known I've liked you for years and you thought the best solution to that was to fuck me?" Harry doesn't respond, he just sits at the edge of his bed, his back to Zayn.

"I'm not asking you to love me, Harry. I'm not asking you to give me anything other than an explanation." Zayn says after a minute, taking Harry's silence as a sign to continue. "It's better this way; that you don't need me, I mean. If both of us can walk away from this, it doesn't matter that I don't want to. You can continue to keep me in the dark about everything. Hell, that's all I've ever known from you, but I feel like we could both use this. I'm not asking for you heart, Harry." Zayn sighs. "I'm not asking for you to love me the way that I-" He stops, and Harry hold his breath, still unmoving. "The way that I love you." Zayn murmurs. 

It takes a few seconds, but once Zayn realizes Harry's not going to give him any sort of response, he grabs his shoes and leaves. Shouting a quick "Go fuck yourself." before slamming the door behind him. 

Harry takes a nap and wakes up a few hours later, sicker than ever. _What the fuck? I wasn't sober, so I could always blame the booze. Maybe I just didn't think_. He laughs to himself. _That's a lie, I thought about it a lot. Just pile it on to my long list of bad decisions, I guess. I suck. What the fuck?_

* * *

 

It's months later and Harry still hasn't spoken to Zayn. His book got published, hit number 4 on the Bestseller's List. He ignored all of Harry's congratulation texts and phone calls and he wasn't surprised to find out Zayn had a party to celebrate and didn't invite him. 

Harry was surprised to find he still had a job after everything that happened with Nick. He guesses it was because Nick realized he wasn't exactly innocent in everything. Him and Ian had been having problems, apparently, at least that's what he overheard Jessie say in the mailroom. Harry drew his own conclusions that it took kissing him to realize he wanted to work things out with Ian instead of give up. In a way, Nick should thank him. At least, that's what Harry likes to tell himself. It helps with the guilt.

Nick checks up in him less, and it's almost never by himself, but at least it's not as weird and he thought it'd be. About a week after Zayn's book hit the shelf, Harry got nominated for, and won, several awards for the new grid of the city and the few new buildings. Zayn didn't answer any of those texts, either. 

Things start looking up, though. Because of Harry's new awards and recognition, and because Nick is less involved with his projects, he gets to hire an assistant. Which is how he found himself at work on a Saturday interviewing dozens of college graduates for a position he'd honestly rather have. 

He's about to send the rest of the applicants home when a boy who reminds him a lot of himself walks in. It only takes a few questions for Harry to rid himself of any doubt that this kid is perfect. He's tolerable, funny, smart, and dedicated; everything Harry needs in an assistant. He cuts the boy, George, off mid-sentence to tell him as much and his eyes go almost comically wide.

"Really?" George gasps. "This is my first interview since I moved here, I can't believe I got it."

Harry laughs. "Congratulations. If you stop and talk to Jade on your way out she'll give you all the paperwork you need to fill out. You start next Monday, so you can just bring it with you then."

George nods excitedly and thanks him about a million more times before he finally leaves, leaving Harry feeling hopeful and significantly less stressed.

He calls Zayn again and is only slightly disappointed when he gets his voicemail. He doesn't leave a message, though, because there's nothing to say, really. He already left one explaining his big revelation that he's an asshole, but that's not what Zayn wants to hear, and Harry can't tell him what he wants to hear because Harry's not in love with Zayn. He wishes he was, though, because everything would be a whole lot better. He'd have his best friend and someone who loves him, which is better than what he has right now, which is neither.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> questions/comments/kudos? :)

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading, leave kudos and words of encouragement :)))


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